Lafayette’s gene pool has been host to a long line of eccentric characters who have blurred the lines between crazy, genius, disturbed and curiously entertaining. Make no mistake, Hart Fortenbery occupies a position of good standing somewhere near the top of that curious heap. From his forays into music, film and video, Fortenbery’s antics — spouting malapropisms, absurd facts and a confounding array of non sequiturs — have impressed, perplexed and amused many a local citizen. Posthaste sits down with him to explore the man known as Hart of Fortenbery.
Hart Fortenbery in five words more or less. Dynamic individual tearing down the runway. What have you been up to? I am always jumping around acting crazy, saying what I am doing. Now that certain things have come to pass, nondisclosure agreements preclude me from saying anything. But for now, come take my riverboat tour at Tokyo Live.
Where does the name Fortenbery come from? A minor place in Bavaria, Furtenbach. German power brokers of old. For some reason, that makes perfect sense. As far as local lore goes, there is a profound legacy of debauchery and depraved excess surrounding your house on Demanade Boulevard? Tell me a crazy story from the past? We kidnapped Freddy Fender after a concert at Alex Broussard’s ranch before the live radio remote interview and autograph signing session. Huey Meaux was not pleased. We get back to the motel room and a hundred dollar bill and Freddy’s plane ticket back to Houston were shoved under the door. All other stories are unfit for print. Does your neighbor Ben Berthelot (executive director of LCVC) ever get fed up with you and start slinging rakes, used tires and bricks over the fence? Only when a departing guest knocks over and demolishes his brick mailbox.
Worst job ever? Painting eight miles of split rail fence while on my last work release job. What exactly is Hart Fortenbery’s “job?” Waking up at work; making records; making movies.
Biggest hassle in maintaining a full blown ZZ Top-length beard? Tobacco adherence when licking the rolling papers while rolling my own, and all the girlies and their moms who can’t keep their fingers out of it.
At the Monterey Pop Festival, guitarist Mike Bloomfield once famously advocated everyone to “dig yourselves ... because it’s really groovy.” In the event of losing one’s grooviness or coolness — by age, cultural shift, whatever — what method should one use to regain it? Hopefully hang on long enough to “come back” into fashion. If you were to change careers, what line of work would you be interested in pursuing? Being the guy in all the Corona commercials. In the event of a deep spiritual crisis, where does the being known as Hart Fortenbery turn? The Grateful Dead. It’s a Saturday night in Lafayette. How do you get into the Fortenbery persona? What’s the pre-game ritual? Two laps around the pool, step in the boots, step out.
Danzig buys an accordion and synthesizer, and decides to start a Cajun band, (perhaps called Ween Toups). What do you tell him? Get a job.
Name one thing nobody knows about Hart Fortenbery. I am the Song Fairy.
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APR 18 So Gov. Jindal's new press secretary already has blocked blogger CB Forgotston from her Twitter account, CB tells us in this post. Sure, CB hasn't exactly been sugar sweet to the lady, but if his blogs are all it takes for her to get in a huff she better find some intestinal fortitude somewhere, because that's just the tip of the iceberg.
APR 18 Pooyie! Robert Kennedy Jr. isn't pulling any punches in this column on Huffington Post about the flood board's lawsuit against Big Oil and Bobby Jindal's involvement in efforts to kill it. Kennedy, who is president of the Waterkeeper Alliance, describes Jindal as 'genuflecting to Big Oil's pressure' and 'the industry's chief indentured servant.' Dang!
APR 18 Here's a video of UL Coach Mark Hudspeth showing he can pump some serious iron. It sure impressed the Dr. Saturday blog, which calls his press of 370 pounds a "ridiculous" number for a coach -- and opines that no other college coach could beat ours.
APR 18 Columnist John Maginnis offers some advice to Vance McAllister on this post: Don't quit. Republicans have demanded he resign, but offer no "sensible answer" to the question of why David Vitter shouldn't leave, too, he says. McAllister needs to do his duty and serve out his (abbreviated) term, Maginnis says.
APR 18 Blogger Lamar White Jr. comments upon the plan to make a Bible Louisiana's "official book" in this post. He argues his point by telling us the story of an immigrant couple who moved to Louisiana: Amar and Raj, whose oldest child is now our Governor. This action would have a much larger impact, he opines.
APR 18 There's only one major bill left defending public education, blogger Mike Deshotels writes in this post. He's also got a few choice words for state Superintendent John White, who implies that Louisiana teachers would be thrown into chaos and disarray if they didn't have a test to teach. (Maybe kids would actually get an education then? Nah!)
APR 18 An effort to set up speed cameras on the Interstate has been shut down before it even got started, columnist Stephanie Grace tells us in this post. A bill to block the practice is sailing through the legislature -- where apparently no one wants visitors to our fair state to arrive home to a ticket. (These guys must never drive on I-10 with people from Texas).
APR 18 Blogger Tom Aswell reassures everyone worried about the staffers for Rodney Alexander -- the ones who didn't go to work for McAllister or Candid Camera, anyway -- with this post. Apparently one staffer for the retired Congressman (who also worked for a preacher accused of sexual assault) already has been hired by Alexander in the state department he now runs, Aswell says.
APR 17 At the start of the Tuesday board meeting that ended with his removal from the President's post, Joe Aguillard told the governing board of Louisiana College that SACS, the accreditation agency, requires the board to adopt a confidentiality agreement regarding board actions. Later that day, SACS told the Town Talk that confidentiality agreements would never be required. Calvinist or not, isn't lying wrong?
APR 17 Here we are, looking like backwater dummies again in the national media. This story on Huffington Post tells the nation that our legislators are so scared of the Louisiana Family Forum that they won't vote to repeal a law that was ruled illegal years ago. (Guess these particular Christians don't cotton to that "love one another" thing.)
APR 17 Here's an interesting column from Paul Stanley, political opinion editor of the Christian Post. He breaks down the differences between David Vitter and Vance McAllister, in terms of political realities. What he found surprising was the fact that many GOP leaders are swinging a self-righteous sword at McAllister which had remained sheathed when Vitter's "sin" was revealed. He does have an interesting theory -- that Jindal's people want the Vitter issue to be revived.
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