Add bad teeth and bad hair to the list of Bayou state malaises. Baton Rouge and New Orleans have landed on two unenviable lists compiled by Total Beauty magazine, although the dishonor really belongs to the state as a whole.

Baton Rouge ranks fifth in the magazine’s list of the 14 worst teeth cities, but the criteria for the ranking pertain to the state as a whole: “Louisiana has more than a few factors working against a pretty smile. It ranks no. 43 in dentists per capita, no. 49 in exercise, no. 52 in fruit and vegetable consumption (and we know those crunchy veggies help fight plaque) and — not surprising, considering these factors — no. 5 in teeth loss.” Biloxi, Miss., tops the list of bad teeth cities for its low density of dentists, high smoking rate and other factors.

New Orleans, meanwhile, shows up in a second ignominious list on the magazine’s Web site, coming it at No. 10 among the 13 worst hair cities in the U.S., citing the Big Easy’s humidity and rainy weather. Again, the honor is all ours, although we’ll let New Orleans take the credit. The top three on that list, in ascending order, are Pittsburgh, Pa. (pollution), Olympia, Wash. (humidity, rain, paucity of hair stylists), and Corpus Christi, Texas (humidity, hard water, lack of salons).

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