6 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller wakes up to discover that during the night the covers slipped off the bed. Blames Bush.
6:30 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller pours a cup of coffee, puts too much sugar in cup. Blames Bush.
7 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller takes a shower, notices that shower nozzle is becoming clogged with calcium deposits. Blames Bush.
8 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller fires up the computer to read the latest at dailykos.com and democraticunderground.com. Discovers that the rollers in his mouse have become engorged with lint. Blames Bush.
9 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller drives to video store to return Fahrenheit 9/11. Notices his inspection sticker is expired. Blames Bush.
10 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller steps in dog doo on way to office. Blames Bush.
11 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller writes an article about the first few seconds of the Big Bang. Blames Bush.
12:30 p.m.: While at lunch, R. Reese Fuller contemplates how cool it is that when he writes his name he initializes his first name and writes out his middle name in the tradition of many other famous journalists of the past. Begins to wonder if others consider it ridiculous and vain. Incorrectly surmises that only Bush voters would think so.
2 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller notices it is 2:00. Blames Bush.
3 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller begins to daydream about his brilliant piece a few years back written in breathless, whiny prose about why Fahrenheit 9/11 was not showing at a certain point in Lafayette when it was showing in Shreveport and Baton Rouge ("No Moore for Lafayette," June 30, 2004), then remembers that when the documentary Michael Moore Hates America was showing in those same cities he forgot to write one word about why that documentary was never shown in Lafayette. Blames Bush.
4 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller notices that it is extraordinarily hot and that it is beginning to get cloudy as the sun goes farther down in the sky. Blames Bush.
5 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller leaves work. Tunes into Air America on his XM Radio. Goes through bank drive-thru, where the overhang forces him to lose the signal and cuts off Randi Rhodes just as she was about to blame something on Bush. Blames Bush.
6 p.m.: Bartender givesÂ R. Reese Fuller an Amstel instead of an Amstel Light. Fuller blames Bush.
7 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller gets home and puts his tinfoil hat on backwards by accident. Blames Bush.
9 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller gets into bed, then realizes he forgot to turn off bathroom light. Blames Bush.
9:15 p.m. to 6 a.m.: Dreams about a world where everything bad that happens is Bush's fault.
(Editor's Note: Scott Jordan and Staff Writer Nathan Stubbs co-compiled "A Time of Need.")
Here's your daily look at late-breaking national and international news, upcoming events and the stories that will be talked about Friday, March 07, 2014:
Two Lafayette men have been revealed by police as the infamous duo behind a caper that shook our fair city to its core.
The Lafayette Parish School Board has received a second letter of demand related to last year’s insurance debacle, this time from Key Benefit Administrators claiming it’s owed $93,000 from the school system.
The Louisiana coastline is vanishing faster than mappers can keep track.
A bill that would have overridden local ordinances prohibiting public and private employers from discriminating against lesbian, gay and transgender people has been pulled within less than a week of being filed.
The panel that selects nominees for a controversial New Orleans area flood control board — a board that is suing more than 90 oil, gas and pipeline companies — is set to discuss legislation affecting its independence.
State prison officials cannot keep secret the seller and manufacturer of the two drugs purchased for executions at the Louisiana State Penitentiary, a federal judge ruled Wednesday.
State lawmakers will not appeal a judge's ruling that it was improper to use $3.7 million from a probation and parole officers' retirement fund to balance the state's operating budget.
Conservatives have been losing their minds over this satirical bit on the Colbert Report.
The Lafayette Parish School Board leaves a lot to be desired, but is scrapping the election process in favor of an appointed board the answer?
The House approved legislation Tuesday night to roll back a recently enacted overhaul of the federal flood insurance program, after homeowners in flood-prone areas complained about sharp premium increases.
The NFL has formally designated New Orleans' Jimmy Graham as a tight end for the purposes of his franchise tag value, which is now set at $7.05 million next season unless Graham and the Saints subsequently agree on a long-term deal.
A federal appeals panel ruled Monday that businesses don't have to prove that they were directly harmed by BP's 2010 Gulf Of Mexico oil spill to collect settlement payments.
The Louisiana Department of Transportation and Development has closed Interstate 10 from I-49 in Lafayette to Seigen Lane in Baton Rouge.
Jim Bernhard, who engineered the sale of The Shaw Group for $3 billion, recently has told several people involved in Democratic politics that he intends to run for governor in 2015.
A New Orleans levee board wants to hold the oil and gas industry accountable for decades of damage to our state’s coastline, but the Legislature may be poised to put the kibosh on the suit.
New standards curb elective induction
CVS stops tobacco sales
If an Acadia Parish fiddler misses a note while swatting a fly, will a St. Martinville accordionist learn “Ma ‘Tite Fille”?
(It's good, it's bad and it's just crazy)
Can state lawmakers find the nerve — and the votes — to neuter payday lenders?
A calm demeanor has served Gerald Boudreaux well — in his career, passion for sports and in life. And it could be just what his district needs in the state Senate.
Acadiana Catholics* react to Francis
The circumstances surrounding the Jan. 26 fire of the 18,000-square-foot home on Verot School Road seemed strange, but what's even more bizarre is the back-story behind owner Ralph Wadleigh.
Choice cuts from Acadiana's news media for Friday, Feb. 28, 2014: