It will likely be of little consequence to his opponent, Democrat Charlie Melancon, but Sen. David Vitter has landed with a thud on Esquire magazine’s list of the “10 Worst Members of Congress,” joining largely on the merits of his family-values hypocrisy the likes of Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachman (crazy), New York Congressman Charlie Rangel (corrupt) and Texas Rep. Joe Barton (corporate panderer).
The magazine writes of Louisiana’s junior senator:
Now, it’s one thing if you’re a whoremonger and make no real pretensions to be anything but. There’s even a kind of Laissez les bon temps rouler integrity to that type of rascal that we may even have to admire a little bit. He is, after all, what he appears to be. Edwin Edwards comes to mind. Remember a few years back when David Duke wrested the Republican nomination for governor of Louisiana to face Democrat Edwards in the general election? All the establishment Republicans panicked about having an actual sheet wearer as their standard-bearer, and so they all lined up behind the colorful Edwards with the slogan: “Vote for the crook. It’s important.” Now, those were the days, way back when slippery characters didn’t pretend to take God’s dictation.
Which brings us to the very special case of David Vitter, who is the worst kind of reprobate to be found in heaven, hell, or Washington. For Vitter is not at all what or who he says he is. A self-described “values conservative,” the public figure of David Vitter that we are all subjected to is a pinched, prissy man who sits in judgment of everyone and won’t shush about Jesus. Just a horrible bore who doesn’t like for sick children to have health insurance, hates family planning, is appalled by gay people and gay marriage and brown people from south of the border and the United Nations, all of which in the Vitter moral universe blur into the same thing: grave threats to the tautly ordered no-fun zone that is David Vitter’s immortal soul.
And, oh, how David Vitter does like to instruct on personal sexual conduct. “Abstinence education is a public-health strategy focused on risk avoidance ... by teaching teenagers that saving sex until marriage and remaining faithful afterwards is the best choice...” says Vitter.
Well, Aristotle and Shakespeare knew where this story was going centuries before any of us were ever born. Because of course David Vitter loves prostitutes. And of course he got caught. And yet he still wears his grotesque mask of righteousness, and Louisiana seems poised to be fooled again by the hypocrite this Election Day. Maybe they should first talk to Mrs. Vitter, who during more innocent times said of Hillary Clinton (and her husband’s manhood), “I’m a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he [David] does something like that,” Wendy Vitter said, “I’m walking away with one thing, and it’s not alimony, trust me.”
To post a comment, please log into your IND account. If you do not have an account, click the "register" button to create one. Facebook comments can be used as an alternative to creating an account at theIND.com.
APR 22 Louisiana politics is entertainment, nothing more than a comedy routine that writes itself, blogger Dayne Sherman says. But while we're chuckling at the wizard between the sheets and the kissing congressman, our higher ed system is collapsing, and nobody's doing anything about it, he says.
APR 23 WalletHub has done a study to determine each state's Return on Investment for its taxpayers. Guess who's bringing up the rear? That's right -- if it weren't for Mississippi and Arkansas we'd be dead last.
APR 23 Blogger Tom Aswell has good news for parents who don't want the private information of their offspring sold/provided to corporations: inBloom is shutting down. He's certainly right when he claims the lion's share of the credit for bloggers -- most of the mainstream media, certainly here in Louisiana, didn't do stories on our DOE's agreement with this corporation until months after the bloggers had started reporting on it.
APR 23 Look out! The Buzz Feed blog has busted Senate candidate Bill Cassidy in this post. Cassidy, a physician who is campaigning on how horrible it would be for people to have health insurance, once campaigned on a plan that sounds suspiciously like (you guessed it) Obamacare. Woops!
APR 23 Here's a post from Jeremy Alford on Gambit about the holes in Bobby Jindal's budget. (Hint: they're BIG.) The only puzzling thing in this post is Alford's (apparent) assumption that nobody in the Jindal administration knew they were there. Uh, really?
APR 23 Salon takes a look at the Republicans who take the Koch brothers seriously (including our own Gov. Jindal) and have so far refused federal funding for Medicaid expansion. Joan Walsh has pulled together a lot of analysis pieces, so it's a good read.
APR 23 Blogger Mike Deshotels has had a lot of negative things to say about some of the education-related bills under consideration in the current session, but here's a list of the ones he has something good to say about. He's got links to the actual bills, as well as contact info for committee members.
APR 23 Mark Moseley performs a post-mortem on the Audubon Nature Institute's millage, which failed by a 30 percent margin recently. It's more than just anti-tax sentiment, Mark opines: there's something else going on in NOLA.
APR 22 If you're a Walking Dead fan, you might want to check out this story on DIG Baton Rouge about the program's tour, headed for Baton Rouge and NOLA next month. You can be a spectator, a survivor or a walker -- and the walkers get professional make-up. The course is about a mile long and takes about 45 minutes to complete. And if you're wondering (or worrying or maybe hoping, ick) biting is not allowed.
APR 22 Republicans - and in particular Republicans who might be running for something in a couple years - are flocking to the Common Core issue, the New York Times reports here. But they're not supporting the federal educational curriculum; they're flocking because they feel it will be a good issue to run on, the story tells us. Don't worry, they mentioned Bobby.