What a state we’re in. Louisiana is our morbidly obese mother, ambling around the mobile home in her wrinkled house coat, chain smoking, nursing a 40, chewing through a greasy sack of cracklins. Her casual disregard for her own health and well being drives us nuts. You’re dropping ashes on the sofa, Mama! We tolerate her self-destruction, not because we don’t recognize it — we just always have. And when we do speak up, it’s in one big cauliflower ear and out the other. And that damned house coat! The neighbors laugh, but she doesn’t seem to care.
Enter uncle Ernest Wooton, a Belle Chasse state rep with a Republican haircut. For the second straight year uncle Ernie has dropped by with a bill to allow guns on college campuses. That’ll put the fight in a tiger and the rage in a Cajun. The measure cleared a House committee last week. The National Rifle Association is very happy. Most university police chiefs are not. Administrators and top cops from colleges across the state, including McNeese State Police Chief Cinnamon Salvador (stop the snickering!), gathered at the Capitol en masse to oppose the measure. “We don’t see it as a constitutional issue because none of us are gun control advocates, at least I’m not,” Salvador says. “When officers arrive at a scene, we’re taught — especially in active shooter situations — to look at people’s hands. If the officers encounter other people with guns in their hands, they have to stop and address that person with that gun and while they’re doing that, the real shooter’s still in the building shooting people.” Makes sense. But by a 9-6 vote, the committee moved the measure on.
You know who likes big guns and lots of them? Men with — let me be figurative here — little dangling modifiers.
Not to be outdone, cousin Kevin Pearson, a Slidell rep — same barber (I’m seeing a pattern here) — drags in a bill to ban mobile dental clinics at schools. He ran over it out on the highway and wants to keep it in the freezer. The mobile clinics overwhelmingly serve poor, rural students who otherwise would rarely if ever visit a dentist. Cousin Kev’s bill also cleared committee despite opposition by the Louisiana State Board of Dentistry, the Louisiana Primary Care Association and the state chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics. There ain’t no reasoning with Mama today; she’s making some space in the ice box. The ban is backed by the Louisiana Dental Association, which argues it’s unsanitary to perform dental work in gymnasiums and libraries. No coincidence that the state just increased Medicaid reimbursements for dental work, meaning rural dentists now get more money for providing services to the poor, services the mobile dental clinics have long provided?
So there goes Mama, burning holes in the couch. Dishes are piling up in the sink, and a scrawny dog is panting at the screen door. She’s a real piece of work, that Mama, but man can she cook!
New menu items ready for the Lenten season
The Cane Fire Film Series screens “MaidenTrip” on Monday, March 10, at the AcA.
Acadiana's nightlife guide.
The vibe of the tribe done modern
The Louisiana Workforce Commission said Friday that initial claims rose to 2,125 from the previous week's total of 1,964. There were 2,887 initial claims during the comparable week in 2013.
The Board of Elementary and Secondary Education has stalled action on a $3.5 billion annual school funding formula due to state lawmakers by March 15.
The New Orleans Saints have yet to make it official as of this writing, but popular wide receiver Lance Moore has reportedly been cut by the team to free up salary-cap space on the roster.
While two medical marijuana bills are slated for the upcoming legislative session, what some Louisianans might not know is that the plant was approved for therapeutic use by state lawmakers in 1991.
The agenda is shaping up to be lighter than in previous years. But Jindal is term-limited, with fewer than two years remaining in office, and he saw his last big initiative — a proposed rewrite of Louisiana tax law — collapse without getting a vote in 2013.
Sharper has been held without bail because of an arrest warrant issued by Louisiana authorities accusing him and another man of raping two women.
Here's your daily look at late-breaking national and international news, upcoming events and the stories that will be talked about Friday, March 07, 2014:
Two Lafayette men have been revealed by police as the infamous duo behind a caper that shook our fair city to its core.
She’s the daughter of the legendary Johnny Cash, but she’s been a gifted artist in her own right for three decades, and she’s coming to Lafayette.
The Lafayette Parish School Board has received a second letter of demand related to last year’s insurance debacle, this time from Key Benefit Administrators claiming it’s owed $93,000 from the school system.
Acadiana's nightlife guide.
The Louisiana coastline is vanishing faster than mappers can keep track.
A bill that would have overridden local ordinances prohibiting public and private employers from discriminating against lesbian, gay and transgender people has been pulled within less than a week of being filed.
The panel that selects nominees for a controversial New Orleans area flood control board — a board that is suing more than 90 oil, gas and pipeline companies — is set to discuss legislation affecting its independence.
State prison officials cannot keep secret the seller and manufacturer of the two drugs purchased for executions at the Louisiana State Penitentiary, a federal judge ruled Wednesday.
State lawmakers will not appeal a judge's ruling that it was improper to use $3.7 million from a probation and parole officers' retirement fund to balance the state's operating budget.
Prepare yourselves for sun
Acadiana's nightlife guide.
Conservatives have been losing their minds over this satirical bit on the Colbert Report.
Due to the chaos of Mardi Gras and the weather, the entry deadline for this year's INDesign Awards has been extended by one week.
The Lafayette Parish School Board leaves a lot to be desired, but is scrapping the election process in favor of an appointed board the answer?
Queen Evangline and King Gabriel ruled Tuesday night
The House approved legislation Tuesday night to roll back a recently enacted overhaul of the federal flood insurance program, after homeowners in flood-prone areas complained about sharp premium increases.
IND Style does Gabriel
Newsy bits for the fam
The NFL has formally designated New Orleans' Jimmy Graham as a tight end for the purposes of his franchise tag value, which is now set at $7.05 million next season unless Graham and the Saints subsequently agree on a long-term deal.